It's time

Time to tell the story of how my son was conceived.It is pretty hard to to talk about but i will try my hardest to get it all in there.The story starts with me and d going over to his house to hang out.We had been together for 2 years as of that day and wanted to spend the day with each other.It should have been like any other  day with us two.Boy was I wrong.As we sat down on the couch watching TV i notice him acting very different.Not the same way he usually is when were together.It kinda scared me and should have been my first clue to run.But I was young and madly in love.What did I know?Not very much back then.After the show we were watching was over his mom came into the room to say her and his sisters were leaving and wont be back till it was time to take me home.Looking back now i wish i would have left with them then.Because what happened next it to scary to have to share.But I guess that is why I am writing this to let that wound heal and not be hurt by it anymore.As soon as they left d locked the door and what happened after seems like a blur.But I remember it as if it were only yesterday.He comes up behind me and grabs my waist.Asking me if i love him which really made me laugh.I told him of course babe always.Then a sly smile came upon his face as if he wanted something to begin.He starts grabbing me in very awkward ways and places.I didn't know what to do or say.He was my love there was nothing i wouldn't do for him.No i see the truth.I kept looking at him like what are you doing to me and he just kept whispering in my ear don't worry baby.So i started to relax and thought everything was fine.Till we went upstairs.Going into his room I sat on his bed as he locked the door again.He just stood there and i remember just looking at him and having a million thoughts race through my head.He came towards me and said he wanted to change and didn't care that i was in there.Instead him changing was to cause me pain.As i get pushed down to the bed.He looks at me saying come on baby just let me it i promise it wont hurt a bit.That was all bullshit.It hurt so much and made me scream to this day i feel the pain.As he kept thinking my screams meant i wanted more and he made it even worse.It took all will in me not to let him win.But in the end I lost in his game.How stupid am i to let him win.After he was done and hit his point he stopped.Kissed me on my lips and said thank you baby we'll have to go again in a bit.Oh god will things ever be the same?Will i ever be the same girl i was again?Or will i still face the pain.Well soon after his family came back and i was so glad.To go home and get out of those clothes.I lay in bed crying that night because i couldn't believe what happened to me.My love just hurt me and forced me into the worst things.Not that long after I became really sick and couldn't stop getting sick.I didn't know what was wrong but it really worried me.Till the day another event happened with m where he almost did the same thing to me.Thank god for L finding me.The boys decided they wanted to take me to go see that nothing happened to me.As dreamers mom came into the room with L and me.What happened next kills me.The doctor comes in saying no damaged happened to me.Thank god i thought.But that myself and the baby was fine.Baby what baby i remember thinking how could i be having a baby.I remember l looking at me and him always being able to get the truth out of me we locked us and i just cried.He had them leave the room and sat with me holding me.As we find out d showed up i got tense.And l saw the look in my eyes and could tell.He refused to let d in the room.As he got me to tell him what happened to me.And how it is i could be having a baby.I couldn't believe how one thing with d of him forcing himself on me took away my life away forever.But at the same time it gave me the greatest gift that no one can take away from me.I love my baby boy forever so even though i hate you for what you did to me d i can't help but thank you for giving me that gift of my baby.Because you may have hurt me and raped me it doesn't effect me today.My sins are gone for I gave it all to god.And i can say with a whole heart I forgive but I'll never forget.