Wouldn't you

When you have kids i was taught you would do anything for them. And with Dominick that was no exception. I would do anything for him because he was my baby. Not D's baby nor anyone else's but mine. No one would take him from me. So in 2003 when dreamer did what he did and left me and Dominick alone. I started to go deeper into my addictions. And did some things I regret. But for people if you want to start judging me try again because I would never do that around or in front of my son I am not a damn idiot. He was my gift. Well after losing dreamer things got really bad. They wanted to take me away. For some of the stupidest reasons. I still get angry about it. And those scars are still there to what I would do to myself. Well one day I'll never forget they showed up to the house. As usual looking for me. I grabbed Dominick and just ran. Took him into my room and hid. I couldn't take it anymore. Well there was a huge fight downstairs as they tried to get to me and him. I love my boys for defending me. No one could get us. Or so I thought. Suddenly they came bursting into my room and trying to grab Dominick. I remember the boys grabbing me as I screamed. Why are they trying to take my baby damn it? Well they turn around and walk out with him and say that the only way I can get him back is if I get married. Because they felt that he needed to have a family. So after one of their ladies explaining everything to me they made a deal that he would stay in his grandma's care. Until I get married and the place for him to stay. Well really some have asked are crazy you were a kid. Well when you have no other choice wouldn't you? So we had it arranged that I was to marry my friend Matt. But to me that was too wired and it didn't feel right to me. So I told Matt I love you but I can't do that and have Dominick make three it would just be too wired. I sat in my room crying and thinking what can I do because the only one I would want to marry is no longer here. Dreamer's brother Anthony sat with me saying he would but he was uncle there was no way. I knew that it would just be too strange. I wondered if there would ever be an answer. And in he walked. My knight in shining armor and we sat done talking about it. We both agreed that for that boy we would. So we arranged it and got everything set up to do everything. Within an hour I don't think we didn't even change or anything. We were married. And Dominick was so happy. We were a family and a joy. They allowed us to have him back. And he was by my side for everything. To this day I am extremely grateful of him. People would flip out because we weren't like most married couples. We never even told people except those who knew us and were there. Until about a few months ago we had been married. We are still the closest friends. I love him a lot. And I know he loves me still. But as I told him I can't keep living the way we were. I know how he is and everything so for us it wont work. Besides even though now I know the truth. He made his choice a long time ago. For me as he keeps telling me I am the one who is getting out of here. I need love and for someone to truly love me. And I have to tell the story. Of how mystic fings made me. And how the boy with the blue eyes in love with zippo lighters saved my life and made the family my son came to know.