damn

You know after hearing my son tell me he hates me because I told his father to leave.Got me thinking back to not that long ago when every single night I heard mommy when is daddy coming home?when will daddy be here to play with me?mommy why can't daddy keep his fucking god damn promise to his own son.Why because daddy rather think with his damn dick.When daniel was with lizzy before they had alexis.She told him after he cheated on her with kim and sara not knowing that the one person who hurt more was me.Why because he was cheating on me with all three of them.And so she told him to make a choice of all of us or her.Not knowing that the all of us meant me and scott.After losing dominick and having that grief now I had to lose the man I was falling madly in love with.The father of my son.The man I married.Then after him making this choice came the nail in the coffin.Lizzy came up to me cuz i choose that i would be friends with her and act like i wasn't hurt.That she was pregnant.I remember after her telling me my heart sinking into a million pieces.I look at the corner of my eye and see daniel looking at me.I gave him a hug and said congrats.And he just looked at me and could see the hurt in my eyes.I told him I hope you guys will be happy while me and my son will be better off.He went and wishpered in my ear.He is my son too.I said not anymore since all you do now is make him promises and I am the one to pick up the fucking pieces.Well later on while inside the church.Pastor richard and pastor chris came and prayed over daniel.With me behind him praying with him.They turned to him low so no one else could hear and said we know your scared to be 19 and having a child.But then stopped looked at me and him and said but you seem to know what it is like already.Be happy you have your wife here to give you support.As every damn day you hurt her more and more.I will never forgive daniel for that.I love lizzy and alexis but for daniel even though it took me to now to walk away from our marriage.That was the end of it.No matter what he did he still went out with all these other girls or would get back with lizzy.And I had to be the one to take care of a little boy.Who cried every night in his sleep.So now when i hear him tell me he hates me because I made his father leave.I just want to scream your father left us a long time ago.He made his choice and now I have to be the one to explain to a 4 year old how to remember what his daddy did